Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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