Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize