unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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