And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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