I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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