The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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