god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize