Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
did you just send me my own nude
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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