Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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