The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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