Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
it glows. i had to have it.
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He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
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I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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