i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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