Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
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Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
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All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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