I want to make a zoo with you.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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