There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Randomize