can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
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This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
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We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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