I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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