put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
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I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
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You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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