so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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