this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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