dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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