Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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