Where are you?
In a non slutty way
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
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I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
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I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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