Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize