I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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