The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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