Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
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