He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize