Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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