you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize