She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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