There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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