so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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