Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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