Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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