nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A+ Viking dick
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize