my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize