I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
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She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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