A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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