So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
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He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
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I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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