I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
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Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
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Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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