Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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