There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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