): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
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Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
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you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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