3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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