Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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