I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize