I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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