Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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