THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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