Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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